


Reylo Valentines 2018

by silentamethyst



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, uhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 08:44:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13700976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentamethyst/pseuds/silentamethyst
Summary: My contribution to the Reylo Valentines 2018! Hope it's not too bad :")





	Reylo Valentines 2018

Rey awoke suddenly, a familiar chill snaking down her spine. She continued to lie still as she listened to the sounds of the Ahch- To night, silent except for the hiss of the waves against the cliffs below. Her mind inevitably drifted to him.

It had been months since their last connection. Months since she had reluctantly closed the Falcon door on him. As much as Rey saw in Ben, she knew he would need to make the change himself. She had hope for him, but there was still nothing she could do to force him to make the right choice. That didn’t mean she never thought about him, never worried that he had completely let himself go to the dark side. 

She threw off her blanket and pulled on her boots. Her hair was loose around her shoulders and she quickly pulled the top half into a haphazard bun. She grabbed her lightsaber- newly repaired-, tugged on her poncho, and headed out into the chill of the night. 

Rey had been living on Ahch-To since the battle on Crait. The few remaining members of the Resistance had decided to disband temporarily while they could pick up speed again. She felt somewhat purposeless, simply waiting around on an island for one of her friends to contact her. Chewie had even decided to go home and visit his family for a while, leaving Rey alone with the Falcon.

At first, mending the broken lightsaber had occupied her time, but now that the hilt had been repaired and reformed, she was left to train and meditate, tasks which- though necessary- became menontinous after too long without a break in schedule. She wondered how Luke managed to stay here for so long, completely alone. Even when Rey had lived on Jakku there was life around her, people to give her something to do and fight for. Here, she was her own motivation, her own master. 

The sea breeze whipped around her as she settled up on a grassy knoll overlooking the water. The sky was partly cloudy, hinting that rain would come in the near future. Rey closed her eyes and inhaled the salty air. She curled her knees up to her chest and huddled into her poncho against the wind. She tried to settle into the Force, but something still pressed on the back of her mind. She couldn’t shake it. She opened her eyes and let out a soft huff of frustration. 

The air around her stilled suddenly, the hush of the waves silenced to be replaced by a muffled quietness. Rey’s heart skipped a beat. She pretended not to notice for a moment, until his breathing began to pick up to the point that she could hear it as if he was really standing right behind her in the middle of a room. She turned then. 

He was sitting, his hands placed on either side of him as if he was resting them on a throne. Rey’s mind instantly flew back to the throne room, Snoke’s ship. Kylo was Supreme Leader now. Of course he would have a throne. 

“Leave me.” he said, the words coming out suddenly, almost as a snarl. He wasn’t talking to her, she realized, but someone around him. He waited for several moments before speaking again. 

“You.” he said quietly, still keeping his eyes trained forward. Rey stood and took a tentative step closer to her vision of him. 

“You left me!” he yelled. Rey stopped moving towards him. Her hand instinctively fell to her lightsaber. Kylo pulled himself to his feet instantly. His head whipped to face her, his eyes instantly darting to her hand resting readily on the hilt.

“And even now, you don’t trust me,” he said. “When I’m nothing more than a figment of your imagination.” 

“How could I?” Rey replied, letting her pent up energy fuel her words. “You almost killed me!” 

“We almost killed eachother, but we both, for whatever reason, decided to fight back to back instead.”

“So why did you leave?” Rey cried. 

“Why did I leave? I’m not the one who left.”

“I wasn’t going to join you. I had people who were counting on me.”

“And you failed, nonetheless.” 

Rey frowned. She was tired of this angry face he was putting on. She had seen him for what he really was. Maybe he had grown so used to using his coldness to rule, that he didn’t know how to see past anything else. 

“Ben.” Rey said. The ice melted and his features softened, but not happily. He was broken. 

“I want to help you.” Rey pleaded.

“I can’t be helped.” he spat. “Like you said: I’m a monster.”

Rey let silence settle between them. She couldn’t help but feel shame at her own words, though at the time they may have seemed like her true feelings. She hadn’t understood how much pain roiled beneath the surface of Kylo Ren’s skin.

“You were so quick to leave when I didn’t go the way you wanted.” Kylo said softly, turning with his hands clasped behind his back. Rey noticed the way he was dressed. Still in all black, but with finer clothes and an elegant cape. “I thought you- you cared.” 

“I do care!” Rey exclaimed. “But I couldn’t sit by and watch you go the way you were going. Ben Solo is alive and I know he can come back, but you’re the only one who can bring him. It’s your choice to make, not mine.” 

“I can’t do it alone!” he exploded. Rey tensed. 

“I can’t do it alone.” he repeated, softer. “Believe me, when I say I’ve tried. Despite everything I’ve ever been taught to follow, I’ve tried to give in to the light, for you and for what I see in you. But I’ve gone as far as I know how!”

“I’m being-” Kylo’s voice grew thick with emotion, lowering to a choked whisper. “I’m being torn apart.” 

So much pain in those words. Rey felt burdened just by the way his eyes seemed to cloud over and darken at the thought of them. 

Rey felt their connection flicker and her heart jumped in her throat. Her pulse was thrumming at his words and the potential she saw in them. 

“Come to me.” she said quickly, wanting to get the words out before he disappeared. “I’ll help you. Really help you.” 

“You really think your friends will want to see me? They’ll try to kill me.”

“I’m alone, on a planet called Ahch-To.” Rey replied, moving closer. “It’s where Luke was hiding, all those years.” 

Kylo instantly grimaced and curled his lip. 

“He’s gone.” Rey said, sensing his anger. 

Kylo’s eyes flickered with sadness and regret despite his hard, cold facade. 

“Please, Ben.” Rey said softly, now only a foot away from Kylo. She had to peer up at him, like on the elevator. “Please come. I can help you.” 

He kept his face stoic while he looked down at her, but his eyes danced around, searching. Rey looked into them and saw loneliness and longing for someone to save him from drowning in a pool of sorrow. Then Rey blinked, and he was gone. 

The rushing of the waves was suddenly back in her ears, followed by the gentle swishing of the grasses in the night breeze. The air was heavy with moisture, and as if on cue, cool droplets of rain began to fall one by one. Rey inhaled sharply and filled her lungs with the fresh air, realizing how tight her breathing had been in Kylo’s presence.   
She turned and looked around her and collected her thoughts. Thunder rumbled in the distance and lightning struck the waters in the distance. Dark storm clouds had now blotted out most of the light. Rey began to make her way back to her hut before the storm grew any worse. 

By the time she flung the door open, the rain was already pouring. She threw off her poncho and shook the water out of it before hanging it up to dry. Her feet were soaked through and her head and neck were also dripping. She used some of her spare fabric to towel off before pulling off her wet boots and crawling back into bed under her blanket.   
As Rey listened to the pouring rain on the stones of her hut, she tried to stay awake at first, a part of her hoping Kylo would find her immediately. But the constant drone of the water and the warmth of her blanket soon lulled her into a deep, dreamless sleep. 

It would not be until three days later, in the dead of night, that Rey would wake to the sound of a ship flying overhead. 

-

Kylo clenched his fingers in and out, in and out. He centered himself against the solidness of his gloves and the strength he felt within himself. He was alone in his throne room, the darkness and light swirling like a dangerous whirlpool within him. Rey had appeared so suddenly. He had ordered everyone out at once. 

Come to me. Her words replayed in his head until they fell into a blurring loop of sound and conviction. He huffed and shook himself from his stupor. He began briskly walking down the long, grey walkway to the elevator which lead to the rest of his ship. Unlike Snoke, Kylo’s throne room was all greys and blacks, muted and modest, with little flare and a simply designed throne. He listened to his boots echo off the walls and come back to him, reminding him of his loneliness.

As Kylo approached the elevator door, he turned. He felt nothing. This meant nothing to him. The power, the title, the respect (though it was more out of fear than anything else), and the wealth, it all meant nothing. The months had finally broken him down, he realized. All of his anger was gone. He was left with nothing and nobody. By killing Snoke, Kylo realized soon enough he had only won half the battle. When his anger drained away and he was left with only his throne and his loneliness, he realized how dull his life had become compared to the light that Rey had shown him, however brief a time they had spent together. 

He entered the elevator and watched the door close on his throne for the last time.

-

 

Kylo gripped the controls to his TIE Silencer as he fell out of hyperspace. Before him sat a large planet, mostly blue with little dots of green and brown, all covered by the swirling wisps of cloud cover.  
It had been a task to locate the planet, but not enough to stop the Supreme Leader. Kylo grimaced even at the thought of his title. It was a curse, to be called the very thing which he had so long tried to escape. He hoped he was truly leaving it behind.

He scanned for ships and found only one, so he knew where he needed to go. He began his descent into the cloudy atmosphere, and rain began to pelt the exterior of his ship.

As he moved through the clouds, he relied on intuition to help him find his way. He could sense her presence faintly, but their connection was so distinct it wasn’t hard to pick it out despite the strength of the way the Force moved on this planet. 

He dove further into the clouds, until finally he broke through over a grey expanse of water with some small dots of land poking through every so often. The waters were dark with night and muted in the rainstorm. Kylo continued towards the little bit of light that shone through it all. 

He flew over one island, particularly large and prominent compared to some of the smaller formations and felt a burst of energy flare in him. 

She’s here, he thought. 

His insides tightened at the sight of his father’s ship, the Millennium Falcon, settled on flat space below him. He had no choice but to land directly next to it.   
The rain was an instant barrage as Kylo emerged from his ship. The cool water dripped down his face and through the neck of his cloak, soaking him nearly to the bone. He was already cursing this Godforsaken planet.

Then he saw her. She was suddenly twenty feet away, her hair soaking and loose around her shoulders, as well as barefoot. She was breathing deeply and slightly tensed, as if she had run all the way here. 

“You came!” she called through the rain, her strangely excited tone catching Kylo off guard. 

Kylo looked down at the stony ground, unsure of what to say. He had come so quickly, so urgently, but he realized he didn’t even know why. Confusion bubbled up in his heart.

Rey moved closer. 

“I wasn’t sure if you would.” she said.

“Why do you care?” Kylo said after moments of them simply standing there stubbornly in the downpour. It escaped his lips more bitterly then he intended, but those feelings had a way of showing themselves on their own. 

Brief sadness flickered over her face like a shadow, but it was quickly replaced by the same, hopeful gaze she seemed to always view him through. 

“Just coming shows that you’re willing to change- to be better.” 

Kylo heard the Falcon door close clearly in his memory. He saw the hissing steam and slight jerk of Rey’s hand as she sealed the door. A shudder of rejection went up Kylo’s spine. He took a step back. His confusion turned to clarity. He should never have come. 

“Ben?” she asked quietly, concern on her face.

“I shouldn’t have come.” Kylo said suddenly. “This was a mistake.”

“Wha- no!” Rey exclaimed, but he was already turning back towards his ship. All he heard was the door, closing over and over and over, shutting him away from the one piece of hope which shone through to his heart. A fresh burst of rain pelted him relentlessly, 

“Ben, don’t leave!” Rey called. “Please!” 

Kylo froze. He turned back. He was being pulled both ways. Fear and doubt called him back to his old role, to try and be the same person he was always told to be. But hope and- something- called him to the light. To Rey. He was frozen in his place, unable to voice the way that his emotions were suffocating all ability to see what he needed to do. 

Rey wiped rain out of her eyes and looked at him. Kylo stared right into her eyes and opened his mouth, but still no words came. 

She moved closer to him. Something flared between them, and he wanted to be closer, to connect with her in ways he had never known with anyone else. Rey moved closer still, approaching him slowly as if he might run away at any second. She slowly reached out for his hand, clenched down at his side. She wrapped her fingers around the edge of his glove and pulled. The rain was cool on his skin. Rey tugged the glove bit by bit, until it slipped off completely. She let it fall to the ground, keeping her eyes on his the entire time. 

Her hands were warm on his skin, and she lightly held his hand in hers. Light flowed through him and he could see, really see, his potential, the way Rey cared for him. For him! A monster.  
Kylo felt tears prick the corners of his eyes. He wanted to be strong, but there was too much fighting within him. He tried to contain it. He could change without shedding tears. 

Then the door shut again. It slammed like a prison cell, locking him in and taking away hope. 

He broke eye contact and looked at his hand. It was so pale, covered in the blood of everyone who had ever stood in the way of Snoke’s will. His father’s blood. Compared to Rey’s tanned and strong fingers, he saw the claws of a beast. He wondered why she would ever care about him, why she didn’t just run her lightsaber through him right then and there. Rain continued to pour and blur his vision and make him shiver. The chill was seeping through into his boots, onto his back. He felt himself going back to his place inside a wall of unfeeling. He began to tug against Rey, physically and in the Force, feeling like he never should have come. He never should have thought he could be good enough for her, or for anyone. He was irredeemable. 

He looked into Rey’s eyes one last time. She was crying, her lips pinched in a frown which created little divots on the sides of her mouth. 

“Don’t ever think that.” she said through gritted teeth. Kylo’s heart jumped. She knew what he was-

Rey grabbed him by the neck of his cape and tugged his face down to hers. She pressed her lips to his. He was too stunned to move. A display of affection, so foreign to him. Another memory of childhood, of stolen kisses between parents who had once shared something that could burn forever.   
But, why him? Why would she want him? What did she see in him? 

Then he felt it, the connection. Not just the way her cool lips felt on his, but the meaning behind the gesture. She knew he doubted the way she cared for him, had hope for him, so she was telling him, loud and clear, what words had failed to.

He closed his eyes and leaned into her, feeling the rain on her lips and in her hair as he held her head between his hands. For once in his life, Kylo allowed himself to feel.   
She pulled away and took a breath, still with the scruff of his shirt rolled around her fingers. Kylo ran his hands down her head and cupped her face. He leaned his forehead against hers, feeling her energy fill him. 

He felt her there, in the Force, supporting him, trusting him, giving him strength. 

He couldn’t explain it, or even know how he could understand such a feeling. It was more like a memory, something he had known long ago. A mother’s kiss, a father’s teachings, a young boy who didn’t know what could be so wrong with the world. That was all he remembered of love. And somewhere deep in his spirit, in the place where Rey’s light shone through, he felt love, pure and forgiving, and he never wanted to let it go.


End file.
